The habit of living in anticipation of a storm

If a person lived in alarm for a long time, in a shortage, in the struggle - he gets used to such a background. For him, constant tension becomes the “norm”. And when everything is calm, it scares. The brain does not find threats - and he comes up with them. “He probably pretends to be”, “It cannot be for a long time”, “Something will definitely go wrong.” We do not trust reality, because we learned to survive for too long, and not be happy.

Fear of losing

Happiness makes us vulnerable. When you really feel good-there is a risk. Lose. Stay without it. And sometimes subconsciously it seems: it is better not to fall in love too much, not to rejoice too loudly, not to hope too openly. So that later it does not hurt. It is as if we take a pause in advance with happiness - in case it suddenly disappears.

Doubt of oneself

Many of us deeply believe that they deserve true love and joy. Especially if from childhood they heard phrases like: “Happiness just doesn’t come”, “first work - then pleasure”, “life is not sugar”. This creates an inner belief: "I have to earn." And if happiness comes just like that, easy - anxiety occurs. And even the fault: “I feel good, but why am I? What if it's a mistake? "

Waiting for conditions

We often delay the adoption of happiness “for later”: when I’ll finish the project, when I lose weight, when I deal with me ... and even when everything has already “developed”, there is a feeling that it is too early to be happy. We do not know how to be in the moment. And happiness lives here and now - not in the ideal future.

What to do with it?

Firstly, notice this feeling. To say to yourself: “Yes, I'm good now. And this is true. " Secondly-allow yourself to be vulnerable. To love, rejoice, thank, even if it’s scary. Thirdly-remember: happiness does not require explanation. It can be quiet, unexpected, simple.

Inability to believe in your happiness is not a whim, but a protective mechanism. But you can wean from it. Gradually. Soft. Just allowing yourself to rejoice for no reason, love without fear and accept the good - as a well -deserved, not accidental. After all, if happiness has already come, it means that it is yours.