I live in Kiev. And on the surface, everything seems normal: people go to work, cars honk, sell flowers.
But if you listen closely, everything is not so good.
Everyone has fatigue, anxiety, tension that we don’t even notice anymore.
We’ve just gotten used to it.

I catch myself constantly thinking: What if it happens again?
What if there’s another alarm in the middle of the night? What if it’s not air defense?

Sometimes I just lie and wait. I don’t get up, I don’t run.

I wait, as if something inside me has turned off.

I’m not a hero. I’m just a woman. I go to the store, iron a shirt, buy groceries, call my mother.
Trying to be "normal" in an abnormal world.

And you know, the scariest thing is the feeling that we've gotten used to everything. Even death.

When will it all end?

I ask myself this question almost every day. And every day I understand that there is no answer.

We don't know how much longer. We don't know what form "victory" will take.

We just live. Sometimes automatically. Sometimes through tears.
Sometimes laughing, because if you don't laugh, you can just go crazy.

I miss the me I was before the war.
Lighter, more naive, calmer.
Now I'm different. We've all become different. No one asked us whether we wanted it or not.

And still I walk down the street, the sun on my face, the wind, the children running, and something warm is stirring inside.

Because we live.💖
Because, despite everything, we love, we dream, we believe.
Not because it's right, but because it can't be any other way.

The world will return someday. Not right away. And not like before.
But it will return.
And I just really want to be alive when it happens.
Truly alive. And not just existing.
Maybe something needs to be done?? Just what?