But for some reason, every time this thought appears, I immediately feel cold inside. As if someone turned off the light and left me in complete darkness. And even before something has begun, I am already ready for it all to end. That there will be resentment, disappointment, emptiness. That I will be alone again, with these old fears and unanswered questions. ❄️

Funny, isn't it? I want warmth, but I cool myself down. At first it seems that I am open to love, and then I realize that I have already put up invisible walls around myself. So that it doesn't hurt. So that my heart doesn't get broken. So that I don’t have to hide again and pretend that everything is fine. But in the end, I feel nothing. No love, no fear, no joy. Only cold and emptiness. And that’s the scariest thing. 😔

In my soul, I want to be vulnerable. At least once, allow myself to trust, allow myself to feel everything to the end — both the good and the bad. But for some reason, I can’t let go of fear so easily. It clings to me like a shadow, not letting me breathe deeply. Sometimes it seems that if I let go even a little, I will immediately be covered by a wave of pain and disappointment. And I’m not ready to experience it again. 🙈

But there is no true love without risk. Without losing control, letting someone into your life completely, without these tremulous moments when your heart jumps from the mere thought of him. And that’s exactly what I’m missing now — this real, living, sincere feeling. 🔥

I wonder if others experience this too? When there are so many contradictions inside - you want it, but you're scared, you want to be close, but you're afraid to let go; you want to trust, but you're holding on to your armor? Maybe it's normal to protect yourself like this? Or am I just making things more difficult? 🤔

Sometimes it seems like it's better to stay alone. So that there's no pain, disappointment, or tears. So that you don't have to pick yourself up again piece by piece. But at such moments, I remember that it's love that makes us alive, real, and gives us the strength to move on. Without it, everything becomes gray and empty. 💔

Perhaps it's time to learn to trust yourself and others. Allow yourself to feel - even if it hurts. Because that's how the most beautiful stories and the most genuine feelings are born. Maybe it's worth taking a risk and not hiding your dreams deep inside? Maybe it's worth trying to fall in love again - until you tremble, until you go crazy, until you lose your mind? 😌

What do you think? Should you be afraid if you want love? Or is it better to just go forward, even if there is uncertainty ahead? I am very interested in how you are doing with this.

I am writing all this and I understand that perhaps today something new will begin. Or at least I will allow myself to believe in it again.

Mwah)