And you know, it’s not that I necessarily need someone, I just feel a little... superfluous.

This is probably one of the strangest and at the same time funniest paradoxes. On the one hand, there is freedom, no one pulls, no one demands, you can do whatever you want. But on the other hand, sometimes you are suddenly overcome by this feeling that you are in some way out of place. There are two people everywhere, and I am alone. And even in a cafe where the tables are designed for two, it seems as if they simply did not provide for me there.

This is not sadness, no, just such a quiet reflection. Sometimes you look at couples and wonder: how do they do it, that they find each other so easily? Or is it all just an illusion? Maybe they were once lonely, too, and now they’ve just found what they were looking for. And me? I’m still looking, but without much effort, as if I’m not in a hurry. And this thought – I’m not in a hurry – sometimes calms me down, and sometimes, on the contrary, makes me think: what if I am that very spare tire?

It’s interesting, because a spare tire is very important. You can’t go without it if something breaks. But at the same time, it’s hidden in the trunk, it’s not visible, no one notices it. And here I am – always there, ready to help, but no one calls and doesn’t think that I’m so needed. And this is both offensive and somehow childishly funny.

On the other hand, maybe being a spare tire isn’t so bad? After all, when the time comes, it’s the one that helps out. Maybe I just have my own role, my own story that hasn't been revealed yet? And maybe there's no need to be afraid of this loneliness. After all, it doesn't mean that no one needs you, rather the opposite - that you haven't revealed your full meaning yet.

I'm not saying that loneliness is something bad. On the contrary, sometimes I enjoy my freedom when I can just do what I want, without looking back at other people's plans. This is also important. But there are moments when everything around seems too paired, too in love, and at these moments I suddenly feel a little on the side. Not because someone is bad, but simply because this is how the situation turned out.

Tell me, have you ever had this feeling that the whole world was made for two, and you are somewhere nearby, but not quite inside? How did you cope with it? Sometimes I think that perhaps each of us needs to find our own special place - even if everyone around has already found a couple.

And you know, I like to think that a spare tire is not just a spare, but something important and reliable. Maybe this is where your strength lies — to be ready for your time, when you will be needed not “in extreme cases,” but as part of something big.

For now, I’m just learning to appreciate this special position, not to feel sorry for myself, but just to be here and now. After all, who knows, maybe it’s in solitude that the most real dreams and the strongest plans are born.

Do you have moments when you feel that everyone around you is in pairs, and you are alone? How do you experience this? I’m just interested to hear your point of view — maybe it will help me look at it from a different angle.

In the end, being a “spare tire” doesn’t mean being unnecessary. It means being special in your own way. And maybe that’s the coolest thing that can be.

Masha