And also interesting, with a sense of humor, with a figure, with taste, with grace. Guess how many items I cross off at the end of each day? 🙃

And no one demands it. Everything myself. Everything for myself. But for which "self" - it's not clear. The one who is real, rather wants to sleep, eat noodles and just have someone hug her. But in the mirror there should be a girl who "manages everything", knows where she's going, and has "everything under control" 💼💅

And my head is a mess. Sometimes I want to be alone, and then suddenly I get overwhelmed by: "what if I'll always be alone?" Then it turns on: "everything will work out", and half an hour later: "well, why all this at all?" 🙃 Such is the mutual responsibility. I am with myself, and I myself - by the neck, on the podium, under the spotlights.

What annoys me most is that you see that everything around is the same. Everyone is trying to seem. They seem happy, in love, purposeful, successful. And something inside starts whispering: well, they did it, but you didn't. That means you are weak. That means you are somehow not like that.

But I don't want to be "some kind of" anymore. I don't want to lie to myself that everything is ok, when everything is not ok at all. I don't want to pretend to be someone I don't love. You know, sometimes you look at your old photos and think: "Well, what did I pretend to be?.." 🤷‍♀️

In a world where everyone is running to success, I choose to stop. Just stand up and exhale. Stop running - at least inside yourself. I no longer want to live by the principle: "I'll achieve it - and then." Because the most important thing is not to lose yourself on the way to yourself.

Sometimes being honest with yourself is not about strength. It's about a weakness that you decided not to hide. About a fear that you did not scream out with motivation. About loneliness that you acknowledged, and did not drown in wine or text messages 🌙

And this is liberating. Quietly. Imperceptibly. Without fanfare. It's just that at some point you no longer hate yourself for not measuring up. And this is probably the beginning of love. Not for someone. But for yourself.

If you are reading this and feel something similar, know that you are not alone. I am close. I am also on the way. Not to the goal, but to myself ❤️

Are you ever afraid to be alone with yourself? Or do you know how to be honest with yourself?.. Write. I am really interested.

Mwah)