For me, strength used to be when you could put someone in their place, not let yourself be offended, outshout, outplay, outargue. React quickly, sharply, "to the point." Such... combat readiness 24/7.

And now I look at all this and think - God, how tiring it is to live, constantly clenching your fists. Even if only in your head.

Today, I understand what it means to be strong in a completely different way. It's not about yelling back. It's not about scandals. It's not about sarcasm, which you use to cover up an insult. It's not even about the ability to leave gracefully, slamming the door. Strength is when you LOOK at the situation, and it's quiet inside you. Even if there's a storm outside 🌪

Just recently there was such a scene. A person was trying to provoke a reaction in me. It was obvious that it was important for him to hurt me. I felt how my chest was starting to bubble, how that old: "Show me that this can't be done to you." And then suddenly - silence. I just looked at him and... didn't say anything. Not because I was confused. But because I didn't see the point in it.

And at that moment I felt such PLEASURE from the fact that I could choose where to give my energy. I didn't lose. I didn't run away. I didn't swallow the insult. I just realized - this is not my level. And I don't need to go down there.

Strength is when you don't get involved. When you don't have to prove. Don't explain. Don't fight. But just be yourself. And that's enough.

It even scares me a little how attractive this state can be. You stand there, calm and level, and suddenly you understand: you are in control of the situation simply because you are IN YOURSELF. Not in emotions. Not in hysterics. Not in the desire to please. Just in yourself. It is... damn beautiful 💫

And yes, this is a very adult strength. No show-off. No theater. No drama. There is no screaming rage in this. It is like water. Quiet, but sweeping. When it is necessary, it will do its job. But if there is no need, it just flows. Light, flexible, confident.

Because I remember what I was like - anxious, twitchy, in need of confirmation. And now I just am. I do not expect to be understood, appreciated, approved. I myself know who I am. And when you know this, you don’t want to beat anyone, convince them or save them 😌

And the most interesting thing is that it’s in moments like these, when you’re in this inner peace, that men start to look at you differently. Not with a challenge. But with some kind of… respect? Admiration? I don’t know. But definitely not like before. Maybe because they feel that this isn’t just a girl in front of them. But a woman who hears herself. Which means that they’ll be interested in her too.

This is who I am now. Lonely, but not empty. Without a relationship, but okay with myself. And you know what else is cool? This calmness — it stays even when you’re sad. It doesn’t depend on whether someone is around or not. It doesn’t go away when you’re alone. Because it’s not on the outside. It’s on the inside 💖

Tell me, have you ever felt strong in silence? When you don’t have to prove anything to anyone — you just stand there and DON’T EVEN THINK about defending yourself? It's an awesome feeling, isn't it? 😏

Irinka