Often we perceive intimacy as what requires victims: to abandon our habits, time, desires, borders - for the sake of another. It is as if a condition for love: "If you love me, you should always be there." Or "We must do everything together." But such proximity does not bring together, but absorbs. When one dissolves in the other, not only boundaries are erased, but also respect for individuality. Freedom becomes less, more anxiety.

Freedom, in turn, scares. Especially in love. It seems to us that if the partner is free, then he can leave. Choose someone else. Forget. Leave. Therefore, we are intuitively trying to control - time, correspondence, mood. But the stronger the control, the less trust. So, and less real proximity.

True proximity is impossible without freedom. Because only a free person is able to really choose to be with another. Not out of fear, not out of duty, not from dependence - but from the inner will. To be close and free means not to merge, but to meet. Again and again. Every day. Not because it is “necessary”, but because I want to.

In such a relationship, everyone has their own life: interests, friends, desires, time for themselves. And at the same time - there is a space for the general. It is important not how much time you spend together, but the quality of this time. The depth of dialogs. The ability to be near, without depriving his other air. The opportunity to share without losing yourself.

Freedom does not exclude obligations. She only eliminates coercion. And proximity does not require merger. It requires openness, honesty, vulnerability. When two people do not dissolve in each other, but go nearby, holding the connection.

So yes, to be close and free at the same time - not only possible, but it is also necessary if we want to maintain in relations not only love, but also personal integrity. And then the choice will remain close to the side. Each time - again. Without fear. Regardless. With trust and respect