For a long time, I believed that confidence was something innate. Or a gift from somewhere above. And then I realized: it is a skill that can be trained in the same way as muscles or memory.
Once I was afraid to take an extra step - suddenly someone would look, think something, whisper behind my back. Sound familiar? If so, then you are a living person.
The first thing that helped me - strange, but true - was honesty with myself. Stop pretending to be "convenient", do not try to please everyone at once.
The second - small steps. When you do something a little more than yesterday, you grow. I started with little things: wearing bright dresses, saying "no" when I wanted to say "no".
And also - the environment. Someone who always criticizes quietly kills your courage. But those who support you and rejoice in your successes are like a vitamin for self-esteem.
Sometimes I ask myself: what do I really want? And what am I afraid of? The answers are often surprising. And they teach me to trust myself more than other people's voices.
The strangest thing that still helps me is the mirror. Look into my eyes. Sometimes say out loud, "You can do it." Maybe it sounds stupid. But it works.
Confidence is not about a loud voice. It is about internal support. When you go where you want, even if your knees are shaking.
And yes, this does not mean being strong 24/7. You can be afraid. You can not know. You can cry in the bathroom. But then wipe your face, put on your favorite sweater and try again.
Confidence grows where you allow yourself to make mistakes. To go your own way. And praise yourself for not giving up. Even if you are still a little shaky.