How many times have I NOT gone somewhere, NOT written to someone, NOT tried something - simply because I was not sure. Although what to expect? Confidence? Where would it come from if I haven't even started? :)

I often think that I could be much braver. Not even for someone, but for myself. So that later I wouldn't regret that I missed out. That I was overcautious. That I was afraid.

Sometimes it seems to me that being lonely is not about the absence of people. It is when you are so in your head that you even hear your desires in echo mode. Everything seems too much. Or at the wrong time. Or as if you need to be somehow "better." It's not on purpose. It's just that the brain is designed as if it has an internal censorship department that is always on shift.

And yet... I'm learning. Taking steps while it's scary. Speaking while my voice is shaking. Trying while I haven't figured it out. Because waiting for the moment when "I'm ready" means waiting forever.

But I want to live now. Right now. Even with these stupid doubts :)

✨ Have you ever had the feeling that you are your own biggest brake?

Ira