We are afraid to ask for love. Even those who seem to be near, who have already chosen us, who, it would seem, should understand. And in this fear - a whole world of experience, children's injuries, parental models, anxieties, where love is something that needs to be earned. And do not ask. Moreover, do not demand.

When we are silent about our needs, we hope that the other will guess. What will feel, see, understand. And if he does not feel, then he does not like. Thus begin resentment. And behind them is a distance, cold, understatement.

To ask is to show vulnerability. To say: “I need”, “I can’t cope”, “I feel lonely.” For many of us, this is tantamount to recognition of weakness. Especially if we were taught to be “strong”, “convenient”, “not to interfere”, “not to be imposed”. Or if in the past they rejected us for frankness.

But the truth is that any proximity is impossible without risk. Without the very moment when you open and do not know if they will accept. Love is not only warmth and acceptance. It is also fragility.

It is the ability to talk about your feelings that makes the relationship alive. Do not hide, do not manipulate in silence, do not wait until they guess - and call your emotions honestly, calmly and with respect to yourself and to the partner.

Asking about love is not weakness. This is a form of maturity. This is the choice to be real, not "convenient." This is a way not to save disappointment, but to protect contact.

If we are silent - not because “everything is fine”, but because it’s scary - this is an occasion not to blame yourself, but to look inside. What exactly are we afraid to hear in response? What scares us in frankness? Why do we choose silence instead of a request?

The answers can be painful. But it is they who lead to healing.

Love should not be guessing. And the one who is truly nearby will not turn away from our words. Because love is the willingness to hear. Even when it is difficult. Even when very personal. Even when scary.