The term "languages of love" was introduced by the American psychologist Gary Capman. He identified five ways with which we express and perceive love: support words, time, help (service), touch and gifts. Each person has his own “main” languages - that is, the forms through which he feels that he is loved.

For example, a woman is waiting for warm words and joint evenings, and a man thinks that love is to repair sockets and bring a salary home. He acts out of love, but she feels lonely and invisible. Or vice versa, the partner hugs and says compliments, and the other dreams of simply to be unloaded around the house or help with business. There is concern, but it is in another language.

Because of this, misunderstandings often arise: one feels underestimated, the other is unloved. Both get tired, close, and then completely begin to blame each other of coldness or selfishness. Although, in fact, the "translators" simply did not coincide.

What to do with it? First of all, to admit that not everyone feels love the same. To talk, try to understand what “language” the partner says, and what you say. Do not “guess”, but honestly ask: what does love mean to you? How do you feel that they love you? The answers may surprise.

The next step is to learn to speak the language of another. This is not a betrayal of yourself, but an attempt to be heard. Sometimes “language” is difficult - for example, not everyone is easy to speak affectionate words or express feelings bodily. But even little efforts show the partner: “You are important. I want to be closer. "

Love is not only a feeling, but also a dialogue. And the more carefully we listen, the sincerely we are interested in the inner world of the other, the closer we become. Sometimes it is enough to learn a few new “words” - and everything that seemed distant and incomprehensible is suddenly filled with warmth and reciprocity.