I have always been surprised by why some people think it is normal to just talk to men so easily, even if they have someone close. As if it means nothing, just words, just text messages, just communication... But I feel differently. For me, even a normal conversation with another guy, when you have someone special, is a small step beyond what is allowed. It's like you open a window through which the wind rushes in, and it slightly changes your internal order.

And so I sit alone, looking at my phone and thinking, what if I ever have that one person? Will I be able to be free in my soul and honest at the same time? Maybe I'm too sensitive, or just not used to the fact that attention can be divided. Because, to be honest, for me, attention is the currency of relationships. It can't be wasted on everyone, otherwise it ceases to be valuable.

Living alone teaches you a lot. It teaches you to notice details - a smile from a passerby, the melody of the rain outside the window, random conversations in a cafe. But most importantly, it teaches you to listen to yourself and understand what's really going on inside you. And this inner honesty is what later helps you build relationships where there is no room for omissions and deception.

Sometimes it seems to me that it is in solitude that the ability to truly love is born. Because when no one is around, you learn to appreciate every little manifestation of attention and trust. And if one day a person appears to whom I can give my sincerity, then it will be something real, and not just empty words.

That's how I live - thinking about what it means to be free, to love and respect other people's feelings. Maybe someday I will understand exactly where the line is between friendship and betrayal. For now, I'm just listening to myself and learning not to be afraid to be honest, even if it means admitting my weaknesses.

Val