Disappointment, betrayal, emotional detachment or indifference - all this can leave a mark. Sometimes a person himself does not notice how he begins to perceive new relations through the prism of the old RAS. It would seem that the partner is different, the situation is different, but a protective reaction has already been formed inside: not to believe right away, not to reveal yourself completely, to control feelings so as not to experience pain again.

So anxiety appears. The expectation of a trick. Suspicions, even if there are no objective reasons. The desire to check, test, keep a distance. All these mechanisms are often unconscious, but they form behavior. And they can destroy what is just starting to emerge.

Fears that came from the past can sound differently. These thoughts feed on the pain that a person once experienced. And the stronger the injury was, the louder they sound in a new relationship.

It is important to understand: past experience is valuable, but it should not become a filter through which we evaluate everything new. Each person is not a continuation of a former partner, but an independent person. And new relationships are not required to repeat the scenarios that we are already used to.

In order not to allow fears from the past to manage the future, it is useful to realize which beliefs were formed after the previous experience. What remains painful. What causes anxiety. And most importantly - to honestly admit it to yourself.

Emotional maturity begins where the ability to distinguish real signals from the voices of the past appears. Where a person does not project his old grievances on someone who is not to blame for anything.

Any relationship is a risk. But also a chance. To build something real, sometimes you first need to disarm it. Do not fight the past, but recognize it. And take a step towards the new - without illusions, but also without unnecessary cargo.