Family is the first space where a person learns to love, ask for help, defend, trust or be afraid. Even if there were no words in this, the behavior of the parents becomes a model: this is how proximity looks, so concern is expressed, the conflicts are solved (or silenced).

The child does not analyze. He just absorbs. And what seemed to be the “norm” in childhood later becomes an unconscious point of reference. For example, if love was manifested through control, a person can confuse care with restriction. If feelings were expressed through criticism or cold, later it may seem that warmth is something suspicious or inappropriate.

An adult life is rarely aware of these roots. People think they make a choice on their own. But often this choice was already predetermined: internal beliefs, emotional habits, children's experience.

Some unconsciously try to “replay” the script. Find a similar partner and finally get what was missing - recognition, attention, love. But if you do not realize where this scenario grows, an attempt often leads to a repeat of pain, and not its healing.

Awareness of these internal models is an important step. This does not mean to blame parents. This means to see which templates work automatically, and begin to change them to healthier ones.

The influence of childhood cannot be completely avoided. But you can stop being its hostage. Understanding his reactions, fears, desires, a person receives freedom to build a new, conscious relationship. Not according to the old scenario, but in their own choice.

This is a process. Not fast, but valuable. Because it is he who allows you to go beyond the repetitions and open an opportunity for real proximity - one that they dream of, but which they do not always know how to create.