When I come home, the first thing I do is take off my shoes and earrings. It’s like a sign: now you can breathe out. I don’t turn on the light right away. I leave it in the semi-darkness so that my eyes and head can rest a little. It’s important for me that the house is quiet, but not dead. I turn on a playlist that I know almost by heart. It’s not too slow, but it’s not distracting either. Usually it contains old melodies familiar from my youth, or just voices that make you want to feel, not think.

I go to the kitchen. Not because I’m hungry, but because the process itself is monotonous and almost meditative. Sometimes I make myself green tea with mint, sometimes just water with lemon. The main thing is from my favorite mug. I don’t know why, but it seems more pleasant to drink from it, even if the taste is the same.

I like the feeling of water - not only in the cup, but also on the skin. A warm bath without foam, without candles, without photos. Just water. You close your eyes and realize how much noise there is inside your head. And how nice it is that here it disappears.

I don’t always read, I don’t always write. Sometimes I just sit on the floor, leaning my elbows on the bed, and slowly sort through my thoughts. And when I feel that I am returning to myself - this is the main ritual. It is not about actions, it is about feeling. Calm. Return.

And on such evenings I don’t think how many more such days there will be. I just know: I know how to live them. And this is already a victory.