Here I am sitting in the kitchen, a mug of tea warms my palms, and the apartment is very quiet. Only the kettle gurgles, the cat rustles behind the wall (not mine, the neighbor's), and I listen to this silence and smile ☺️

I used to be afraid of such evenings. It seemed that if there was no one around, then something was wrong with me. That "normal" people at this time go somewhere, meet, laugh, and I am alone. But over time, I came to understand: being alone is not about "nobody needs me." It is about a pause, about the opportunity to be my true self.

There is something strangely sweet about turning on some quiet music in the evening, making some tea with lemon 🍋, wrapping yourself in a blanket and just sitting. No talking, no obligations. You can write something in a notebook if you want. You can watch the raindrops running down the window if you want. And no one asks, “Why are you so quiet?”

Sometimes I think about people who are afraid of loneliness and cling to anyone, just so they don’t have to be alone with themselves. And I… I’m learning to be friends with this “lonely” side of me. It’s not scary, it’s soft and patient. It reminds me that I can enjoy life without anyone’s approval.

The most amazing thing is that when you stop running away from silence, it begins to give you strength 💫
You suddenly notice how beautiful the sunset is from the window, how funny the light bulb in the hallway blinks, and that even simple porridge for dinner can be delicious if you don’t eat it on the run.

I don’t know, maybe someday I’ll want to let someone into this space again. But right now I feel good just like this. I don’t feel lost. Quite the opposite, as if I’ve finally found myself.

Do you ever have this feeling that loneliness can be warm? 🌙

Iria