I'm not one of those who tries to seem strong and unshakable. Honestly - sometimes I get scared. Not because someone left or someone didn't call. But simply because there is emptiness inside and I don't understand how to fill it so as not to feel lonely, even when there are many people around. It's like running in circles, when it seems that you are moving, but in fact you are standing still. 🌀

At such moments, there is a desire to do nothing, but just allow yourself to be weak. But that's not how it is done, right? Everyone around is running somewhere, making plans, meeting, laughing. And I am trying to find the strength to smile, even if everything inside is screaming that I am tired. And this is the strangest thing: sometimes this fatigue is stronger than the desire to move forward. As if the body and mind are arguing with each other.

I wonder how people live so easily without this constant internal struggle? Perhaps they do not have those empty evenings when silence seems louder than any words. Or have they learned to close the door to their thoughts and just enjoy the moment? And I am only learning to accept myself as I am - with all my doubts and fears.

It seems that loneliness is not so much the absence of a person nearby, but an internal state. It happens that you are in company, but still feel alone. And vice versa, sometimes even in complete solitude you can be calm and happy if you know how to listen to yourself.

I don’t know when this will pass or change, but for now I am learning to find joy in little things - in the fact that in the morning I can make coffee my own way, without rushing, or just lie under a blanket and think about what is still ahead. ☕️✨

And how do you cope with such moments when there is confusion inside, but you just want to be?

Iria