From "I can handle it myself" to "what if?"
I'm not one of those people who thinks online dating is a shame. Rather, she thought for a long time: "Well, if fate finds her, right?" But then I looked at the calendar, at myself in the mirror, at my friend, who has been happily living with a man found on the site for two years and decided.
I started a profile. I wrote about coffee, books, heart-to-heart conversations, and added photos of me alive, real, and not with filters. And I sat down to wait...
and then a surprise
As it turned out, it would take a long time to wait. Because men... They are silent.
They just sit there. They're just watching. Someone likes it and disappears. Someone will add it to their favorites and that's it. No "hi", no "how are you", not even a banal "what are you into?".
At first I thought: maybe something is wrong with the questionnaire? With a photo? With a description? I rewrote and changed it. Nothing. More likes. Silence again.
And then I sincerely wondered: what are they doing here anyway?
Did you just register and go out for tea? Or do they expect women to write first, ask them out, and drag them along?
No, I don't mind taking the first step... sometimes
I actually wrote to a couple of men myself. Politely, without intrusiveness. One day, three days later, they answered me: "Hi. Well, tell me."
And everything.
Sorry, but this is not a dialogue. This is an interview for the "entertain me" job. And I have no motivation for such a position.
What I realized
is that the site is full of men, but there is zero real movement.
Many people just sit "for show," as if they want someone to find them, but they don't move a single step.
Women's initiative is not bad, but when you get tired of it all the time.
And love, after all, is oncoming traffic.
Still, I don't regret it.
Yes, the site is quiet. Yes, mostly a strange passivity. But even this experience is important. I realized what I definitely don't want: to be in a role where you have to constantly pull a person out of the shadows.
I want to be with someone who wants to be with me. Who writes, asks, shares, moves forward.
So the questionnaire remains for now.
But now I know for sure that it's okay to search. But I won't chase anymore.