I didn’t plan to escape and didn’t pursue the romantic goal of “finding myself.” It just became too noisy around me at some point. Noisy not even because of cars and people, but inside my head. Everything seemed to be happening faster than I could live through. And one morning I woke up, looked at my phone, scrolled through the news feed and realized that I didn’t need any news today. I needed silence, but not the kind they write about in books, but real silence, where you can hear the leaves rolling along the road.
I packed a small backpack, without snacks and exercise, closed the front door and simply walked in the direction where there were fewer houses. That’s how my day began today, although it should have been a normal work day. I noticed how easy it became to breathe when there were no schedules or dots on the map behind me. It turns out that when you're not in a hurry, even the crackling of branches under your feet seems pleasant and important.
I walked for several hours without a route, stopped at some field paths, sometimes just sat on the ground and watched the wind stir last year's grass. There is no drama or philosophy in such moments, just you and the world without filters. No extreme sports, no photos for memory or posts on social networks. Instead, there is a feeling as if something has returned to its place.
To be honest, I didn't make any loud conclusions. I didn't try to find the meaning of life or understand where my place is. It was nice to just be. Without proving it to someone. Without the obligation to do everything perfectly. I remembered how as a child I could go outside and walk the whole day, without even explaining to anyone why. And for some reason then life seemed more intense. However, today, when I returned to the city closer to the evening, I felt the same as before. I think that sometimes you need to give yourself a day to disappear from the usual and give yourself the right to pause. Not to become different or start a new life, but just to feel – you can still feel. And you don’t need to go to another country, buy a ticket or pack a suitcase. It’s enough to close the door behind you and go where nothing is planned yet. Everything else will appear on its own. In the evening, I returned home, made tea and realized that the world had not collapsed in these few hours. It just became a little quieter. And it turned out to be surprisingly pleasant.