I go to be good... for whom? For him? For my friends? So that the world doesn’t scold me for my emotions, for my mistakes, for laughing too loudly? 😬 Sometimes it feels like this label is dragging me down like an invisible weight. And I suddenly notice: the more you try to be good, the less people listen to you.

The irony is that I go to “be good,” but I feel worse than everyone else. 😓 My heart wants to scream, dance, swear, love - and I quietly walk along the line that someone else drew. And this feeling of strange bifurcation: it seems like I am “perfect” on the outside, but inside there is a storm. 🌪

Sometimes I want to let go of all these rules and just be myself, without filters and without labels. But I keep going, because the habit of being “good” is like old shoes: uncomfortable, but seems safe. 👟

And I wonder: maybe real courage is not going to be good, but going to be real, even if the world whispers: “You are not like that.” 🌑 And the more I understand this, the more clearly I feel that the path to yourself is always contradictory, uncomfortable and incredibly important.

Mari