But every time the morning comes, I put it off for another day. And now weeks, sometimes months, have passed, and I'm still in the same place.

I don't think it's laziness. It's fear. Fear that if I go deeper, I'll have to face myself - with all the doubts, fears and those parts that I usually hide. 😔 Because faith is not just words, it's a choice, it's openness, it's acknowledging that you are imperfect.

Sometimes I envy people who can calmly sit with a book or pray and feel this presence. ✨ And I keep putting it off, making up reasons: "There's no time now," "It will be better later." But I know that these are just my defenses. I'm afraid that if I start, the world around me will change, and I'll have to change with it.

But there are moments when I catch myself thinking: "I want to go deeper." 💭 Not for someone, not to seem right, but for myself. To finally feel that there is something more that can calm my eternal worries and doubts.

Every time I put it off, a strange emptiness is created inside. 😔 But I still continue to promise myself: tomorrow. And in this promise there is hope, albeit small, but alive. And maybe one day I will understand that you can start not with a grandiose step, but with one quiet breath, one prayer, one thought. 🌿

And at that moment I will be next to myself, with my fears and doubts, and this will already be the first step.

Val