Care is the freedom of choice, the opportunity to be heard and supported. Control is always associated with restrictions and the requirement to act as a partner expects. The difference seems to be obvious, but in reality it is easy to confuse it. For example, the question "Where are you?" It can sound differently: as an easy interest and desire to be closer or as a hidden reproach and an attempt to check.

The line between care and control is manifested in intention. When a person takes care, he wants to be comfortable and calm nearby. When he controlled, he tries to protect himself from fear that the situation will come out of power. It is important to understand that excessive control does not strengthen the connection, but on the contrary - undertakes trust, turning relationships into a competition for the right to personal space.

Care gives a feeling of warmth and confidence: this is about what you accept, even if you do everything in your own way. Control deprives this confidence, because any decision has to be explained, justified or coordinated. At some point, there is a feeling that you are heard only when you act "correctly."

How to save balance? Several simple rules can help. The first is to respect the boundaries. Care should not become a reason for total intervention. The second is to talk about feelings directly, and not through the requirements. After all, "I am anxious when you do not answer" sounds more honest than "you must write every half an hour." Third - to remember that trust is stronger than control: it creates the very atmosphere where you want to share and be open.

Love is not about power, but about the union. Where care remains a manifestation of sincere warmth, the relationship becomes stronger and deeper. Where it turns into control, there is tension and the desire to break out. Therefore, probably, the most important question that should be asked for yourself from time to time: "What I am doing now is the care of a loved one or an attempt to subjugate him to his fears?" The answer to it is the very border that it is important to be able to see.