I scroll through these tiny proofs of existence and realize how exhausting it is to constantly compare my worth to the reactions of others.

Sometimes I wonder if I'll ever stop needing this. Not checking messages, likes, smiles, or nods. Just existing without a tiny, invisible sign above my head. 🥀 I love my independence, but part of me craves recognition, craves the world to tell me:

And then there's the guilt. For wanting it. For noticing when it's missing. For comparing myself to everyone else who seems to have all the necessary proof, all the confirmation that they are desired, loved, noticed. 😶‍🌫️ I know it's human, but

Perhaps the strangest thing is that I enjoy the race for recognition, yet I hate it at the same time. The thrill of being noticed and the anxiety of not being noticed—it's both addictive and infuriating. 💫 So I sit with this, with my contradictions, and wonder if anyone else feels this tension... or if it's just...

Ultimately, the question remains: can we ever be satisfied without proof, or are we doomed to constantly evaluate ourselves?