But then I realize how fragile that bubble is. One careless word, one look, and it pops. And suddenly you’re standing there, holding all your pieces, wondering if it’s ever worth opening up again.

It’s funny how I crave connection, but at the same time, I’m terrified of it. The moment someone gets too close, my mind races: Will they stay? Will they judge? Will they vanish? And instead of trusting them, I start building walls, adding layers I didn’t even know I had. 🧱

Sometimes I think it’s a defense mechanism, but other times it feels like a game. A game I didn’t ask to play, but somehow learned the rules. How close is too close? How far is safe? How much can I reveal before I risk being real?

I wonder if everyone feels this tension, or if I’m just overcomplicating things. And then I ask myself: is the fear of losing someone worse than losing them in the first place? ❓

Maybe one day I’ll figure it out — how to let people in without losing myself, how to be vulnerable without fear. Until then, I float between closeness and distance, savoring glimpses of connection, knowing they might vanish at any second. 🌊