Thanks to a recent breakup between me and one of the ladies from this site, I was inspired to write a whole new blog that takes a twist not usually seen here. This blog is intended for both men AND women, since both have either experienced the topics I will write about, or have been guilty of doing them, or maybe even both. So... as the title says, these are ways to build distrust in a relationship, particularly an international one...

1) Double standards:
Personally, I can't stand this one. If you want me to write to you every day, I will be more than happy to! But in return, I expect that you will reply every day as well. I love to chat and let you know how my day is going, what I'm doing, things like that. But there's no sense in talking to a wall. If you aren't going to talk, then don't get angry when I don't write, either.

2) Actively searching:
Okay... this is one that I would have thought would be obvious, but it turns out I was VERY wrong. In my mind, if you have decided that you want to be with me, I would presume that you would be open about it. It makes absolutely no sense to tell someone that you want them, and are with them only, when everyone else in the world believes you are still looking. Social networking sites are relationship killers... so if you truly are with one person, then let the whole world know!

3) Suspicious activity:
Let's be honest with ourselves, here, everyone... We all have paranoia about the ones we're with being disloyal to us. Whether it's because we're older, less wealthy, less attractive... we all have a little devil inside of us, telling us that our partners are messing around. Some of us can ignore this, some can't. But when the person who claims to be with you disappears for a few days, doesn't say anything, or doesn't even read messages you send, then comes back and says they're sorry, but they were staying with a 'friend' for the past few days, and had no chance to check their phone... What would you REALLY think was going on?

4) Strange behaviour:
This is one we have all experienced at least once in our love lives. The simple truth is that we are all human, and we all have moods. Nobody can always be happy. We have to remember that, just like us, our partners are human. Every once in a while, they will have a 'low' day, when they will seem a bit off. This is completely normal, and should be looked at as such. You know what the best cure for this is? Simple...
'Darling, is everything okay? I'm here for you if you want to talk about something.'
You'll be amazed at how important that is for someone to hear!

5) Outside influences:
Okay, I'm going to make this the last point of this blog... I understand that many of you have friends that you have known for many, many years, and that they are very important to you. But have you ever had a situation where these friends have said or done something that has impacted your romantic relationships in a negative way? Friends are wonderful, but there will eventually come a time when you will have to make a choice... your friends, or your future. It's a terrible thing to think of, and even more terrible for me to write, but it's the truth. If you always choose friends, you won't have a future.

I wrote some harsh things, and they probably make me sound like a terrible person. But I'm telling you all truly... these factors all played a part in my recent heartbreak. And I felt it was necessary to warn everyone about them so that your next love story doesn't turn out to be a tragedy.

Best wishes to all of you!
Wes