But underneath that, or maybe hidden by it, there's something else. A kind of deep stillness that you can only access if you actually stop long enough to feel it. And I realize now that I've spent years missing that part completely.

When I pray during the Christmas season, what I'm learning is that stillness isn't empty. It's full of something. It's where you can actually hear what you really think, without all the input from outside. It's where you can understand what you actually want versus what you think you should want. It's where you can see people clearly without the distraction of their performance.

I wonder if this is why some people feel so empty during Christmas even though it's supposed to be a joyful time – they're never still enough to access the actual joy underneath all the doing 💭

This year I'm trying something different. Less activity, more stillness. And it's changing what Christmas means to me completely.