I mean the deeper kind—what it actually means to be a woman in a way that feels true to who I am.

In my faith, femininity isn't something to apologize for or something to overcome. It's something real and powerful. But I think our culture has gotten confused about what that means. Either you're told that being feminine means being weak and decorative, or you're told that being feminine is silly and that real strength means becoming more like what men are. Both of those things feel wrong to me.

The way I understand it now is that femininity is a different kind of strength. It's the strength to create, to nurture, to hold space for people. It's the strength to be intuitive and emotional without those things making you less intelligent or capable. It's the strength to care deeply about beauty and goodness without that caring being shallow or superficial 💕

I notice that when I try to be less feminine—when I'm harder, more aggressive, more defensive—I'm not actually stronger. I'm just smaller. I'm protecting myself instead of being myself. But when I'm fully myself—gentle and thoughtful and beautiful in my own way—I'm actually more powerful. People respond to that authenticity. I respond to that authenticity in myself.

I think a lot of us have been told that choosing to be soft means choosing to be weak. But I've learned that you can be incredibly strong and also be soft. You can be intelligent and also care about how things look and feel. You can be capable and also need support. These things aren't contradictions—they're just different aspects of being a full human woman.

What if the strongest version of yourself isn't the hardest version, but the most authentically you version?