For years I would say no and immediately feel guilty, like I owed the other person an explanation or an apology or some kind of softening to make them feel better about my boundary. I would minimize my need. I would shrink myself. I would make my no so small and gentle that it was almost yes.

But that's the beginning of the games again. That's the lie disguised as kindness. Because when you say no and immediately apologize, you're teaching someone that your boundaries aren't real. That they can push a little harder next time. That your needs are something you're ashamed of.

So yesterday I said no. Clear and direct. And then I didn't add anything to it. No explanation that they could argue with. No apology that suggested I was wrong for having the boundary. Just: no. 💔

The person didn't like it. They tried to convince me to change my mind. But I stayed clear on what I needed. And afterward, I didn't feel guilty. I felt strong. I felt honest. I felt like I was finally treating myself the way I'd want someone to treat me.

That's the whole thing, honestly. Integrity is when your yes means yes and your no means no, and you don't betray yourself to make someone else comfortable. It's when you trust that the people who actually care about you will respect your boundaries instead of resenting them. 🕊️

What would change in your life if you started protecting your own peace the way you protect other people's feelings?