I had a genuinely bad day yesterday. Like actually bad, not just "oh no I spilled coffee" bad but real legitimate struggles that affected me emotionally. And when someone asked how I was doing I made the mistake of being honest and saying "honestly not great" and the immediate vibe shift was WILD. Like suddenly I was the problem for not pretending everything was perfect 🙄

Since when did honesty become the enemy?? Since when did admitting you're struggling become this social crime that makes everyone uncomfortable?? We're all out here going through things - that's what being human IS - but we've created this culture where we're supposed to just slap on a smile and say "I'm fine!" even when we're very much not fine 💭

And don't get me started on social media where it's even worse. Everyone curating these perfect lives with perfect lighting and perfect captions about how grateful and blessed they are. Meanwhile I know for a FACT that half these people are going through it behind the scenes but they'd rather maintain the illusion than show any genuine vulnerability 📱

What kills me is that we're all playing this same game and we all KNOW we're playing it but we keep doing it anyway. We all know everyone else is also struggling sometimes but we've collectively agreed to pretend we're not. Why?? What are we protecting each other from?? The reality of being human?? 🤷‍♀️

I'm not saying we should all be trauma dumping on everyone constantly or that every conversation needs to be heavy and serious. I get that there's a time and place for different types of sharing. But there's a massive difference between appropriate boundaries and this fake positivity culture where admitting ANY struggle is seen as weakness or attention-seeking or problematic ✋

Someone told me once that "nobody wants to hear about your problems" and honestly that statement has haunted me ever since because like... is that true?? Do we really not care about each other enough to hold space for the hard stuff?? Because if that's the case then what even is the point of human connection?? Just to perform happiness at each other?? Cool, sounds super meaningful and definitely not soul-crushing at all 💔

I think about past generations - like my grandmother's generation - and from what I understand people were more real with each other?? Like yeah they had their own issues with emotional repression in some ways but they also had communities where people actually showed up for each other's struggles. Where it was normal to say "I'm having a hard time" and people would bring you a casserole and sit with you, not just hit you with toxic positivity like "stay positive!" or "good vibes only!" 🙃

The "good vibes only" thing is particularly insidious because it sounds positive on the surface but what it actually means is "I'm not comfortable with your genuine emotions so please pretend to be happy so I don't have to deal with it." It's emotional avoidance disguised as optimism and I'm SO tired of it 😤

And the worst part is that this constant performance is EXHAUSTING. Pretending to be okay when you're not takes SO much energy. Energy that could be spent actually processing your feelings or asking for help or doing literally anything productive instead of maintaining this elaborate facade that helps no one 💯

I've started trying to be more honest when people ask how I'm doing. Not in a oversharing way but just... authentic. If I'm having a rough time I say "it's been a tough week" instead of automatically saying "good!" If something is bothering me I acknowledge it instead of pushing it down and pretending it doesn't exist. And you know what I've noticed?? The people worth keeping in your life appreciate the honesty. The ones who get weird about it are probably not people I want to invest in anyway 🎯

Because here's the thing: real connection REQUIRES vulnerability. You can't build genuine relationships with people if you're both performing the whole time. At some point someone has to drop the mask and say "actually I'm struggling" and hope the other person can handle it. And if they can't?? Then what you had wasn't real connection anyway, it was just mutual performance 💫

I'm not saying I want to be negative all the time or that I don't believe in trying to maintain perspective or that gratitude isn't valuable. I'm just saying that forced positivity is different from genuine positivity. And pretending everything is fine when it's not doesn't make you strong or inspiring - it just makes you disconnected from your own reality 🚫

What I want is a world where we can be honest about the full spectrum of human experience. Where saying "I'm struggling" doesn't make you a burden or a downer. Where we can hold space for each other's pain without trying to fix it or minimize it or rush past it to get back to comfortable small talk. Where we can just BE with each other in whatever state we're in without judgment 🌟

Is that really too much to ask?? To exist as full human beings with complicated emotions instead of as carefully curated highlight reels?? To be supported in our struggles instead of shamed for having them?? 💭

I'm done performing. I'm done pretending. I'm done with the exhausting charade of constant okayness. And if that makes some people uncomfortable then honestly that's their problem not mine. I'd rather have a few genuine connections with people who can handle my humanity than a thousand shallow relationships built on mutual pretense 🔥

If you can't be real with the people in your life then what's even the point?? What are we all doing here?? Just competing to see who can seem the most put-together while privately falling apart?? Hard pass ✋

Maru