The danger of automatism

I want to draw your attention to how imperceptibly our communication becomes functional. “Did you buy bread?”, “Who will pick up the child?”, “What’s for dinner?” - these phrases replace the words that we said to each other at the beginning of the journey. In winter, when there is less energy, we tend to save energy and switch to energy saving mode, turning our partner into a neighbor in our living space. I will share with you a thought: the spark goes out not from quarrels, but from indifference and predictability. When we cease to be interested in the inner world of another, believing that we already know everything, “Groundhog Day” declares its rights.

Small changes to the usual route

I often think that you don't have to wait until the holidays or spring to bring romance back. An adventure can be created on an ordinary Tuesday evening. I'll share an idea with you: try breaking one habitual ritual. If you usually eat dinner in front of the TV, light some candles and turn off your gadgets. If you're used to spending your weekends at the mall, take the two of you to a small coffee shop in an area you've never been to. A change of scenery, even the most insignificant one, forces the brain to switch and see in your partner not just a companion in everyday life, but a man who is interesting to you. These little “injections of novelty” are vital in January.

The art of noticing and thanking

I want to tell you about the simplest, but most effective way to bring back the heat. In the bustle of everyday life in January, we often take the care of a loved one for granted. I will share with you my approach: try for one day to consciously notice all the good things your partner does for you and talk about it out loud. Sincere gratitude for making coffee or taking out the trash works wonders - it makes a person feel seen and appreciated. When we bring mutual admiration back into the relationship, the grayness of winter recedes. It turns out that to be happy you don’t need to change your partner or your scenery, you just need to wipe the dust of habit from your eyes.