The “consolation prize” trap

I want to draw your attention to the fine line between a sincere desire to be friends and the fear of offending by refusal. Often the phrase “let's remain friends” is said only to soften the awkwardness of the moment. I will share with you a thought: such “friendships” are rarely viable. If one person is still hoping for something more, and the other is just being polite, it creates a painful imbalance. For friendship to become a reality, both must clearly understand that the romantic door is closed forever. Only if there is honesty on both sides can a January acquaintance develop into something other, no less important than love.

Community of interests versus “chemistry”

I often think about how dating apps are actually a great filter for finding like-minded people. Sometimes we meet people with whom we have a perfect intellectual match, but a complete lack of physical attraction. I will share with you my approach: if you feel that you have found “your” person in spirit, you should not break off the connection just because there was no spark. In my practice, there have been cases when an unsuccessful date at the skating rink in early January became the beginning of a strong, long-term friendship. Such people become our comrades, advisers and support, and this is a huge value in the modern world.

How to take communication in a new direction

I want to tell you how to make this transition environmentally friendly for both. I will share with you a simple rule: if you decide to be friends, take a short break in communication immediately after you have discussed the lack of romantic prospects. This time is needed for emotions to subside and “dating” expectations to be erased. When you return to communication in a couple of weeks, you can start with a clean slate. The reality is that friendship after dating is possible, but it requires maturity and a lack of illusions. If you both feel that communication enriches you, why not keep this person in your 2026? After all, there are never too many good people in our lives.