I'm not complaining. I'm not looking for pity. I'm just stating the fact that loneliness is no longer just "nothing bad", it is already felt in every breath.
During the day I run, help people, smile at everyone around me, dance to distract myself a little. But in the evening I come home and no one greets me. No one asks "how was your day?". No one hugs me so that I can finally exhale and feel that I'm not alone.
And you know what the scariest thing is?
I've already gotten used to this silence. I'm used to sleeping alone. I'm used to not waiting for a message in the evening. But my eyes are not used to it. They are still looking for someone who will look at me as if I am important to him.
Maybe this sounds too frank.
Maybe someone will think now “well, another drama”.
But I am not writing this to pity. I am writing this because I am tired of being silent.
So I am just asking you
Do you also sometimes feel this emptiness in the evening?
Do you also want someone to just be there without words, just hug you and say “I am here”?
Have you already resigned yourself and think that this is how it should be?
I have not resigned myself yet.
I still believe that somewhere there is a man who is also tired of loneliness. Who also wants to hug someone in the evening and feel that he is needed.
Because my sad eyes really want to see warmth in someone’s eyes.