And sometimes I just want to lie face down in my pillow and be left alone.

On the eternal search for self
I used to think that by the age of 25 (or 30, it doesn't matter) I should have some kind of clear instructions for life in my head. Like, "Click here, and everything will be clear." But here I am, and I still have a ton of questions.

I still:

Doubt my decisions ten times a day.

I feel a twinge of envy when I see someone else's success, and then I scold myself for it.

I buy a gym membership and go... pretty much never.

And you know what I realized? This is life. It's not made up of perfect shots. It's made up of awkward pauses in conversation, holey socks you're too lazy to throw out, and sudden bursts of happiness when your favorite song comes on at the coffee shop.

On "just being"
I'm learning to be kinder to myself. It's incredibly difficult to stop being your own harshest critic. We forgive our friends for their mistakes, so why are we so merciless with ourselves?

Today I gave myself permission not to wash the dishes right after dinner. And, oh my god, the sky didn't fall. Instead, I just looked out the window and thought about how I'm not my accomplishments or my to-do list. I'm my thoughts, my silly jokes, and how much I love the smell of fresh bread.

If you're feeling overwhelmed right now, that's okay. If you're feeling lost, that's okay too. We're all a little lost here, some of us just hide it better.