A week ago I went on a date.

The guy looked perfect:
clean shirt, nice voice, intelligent glasses.

I thought:
Finally, a normal man.

Mistake number one. 😄

We were sitting in a café talking about life when he suddenly said:

“I need to check on my cactus.”

I thought it was a joke.

It wasn’t.

He opened a security camera app.

“There he is, my spiky friend.”

I looked at the screen.
A cactus.

Standing.
Silent.

The guy softly said to the phone:

“Don’t miss me. I’ll be home soon.”

I finished my coffee in one gulp.

Five minutes later he explained that he talks to his plants every evening.

“They need energy.”

I thought about it.

On one hand — a caring man.
On the other — competition with a cactus.

At the end of the date he said:

“You’re a very nice girl. Want to meet my orchids?”

I answered honestly:

“Only if they’re not jealous.”

Sometimes dates feel like science experiments. Unfortunately, they often fail...and yes, we never even get to the second date 😄