Let’s be honest: the beard trend has gone too far. A week ago, I went on a date with a guy. In his photos, he looked like a stylish Viking; in real life, he looked like a man who spent three years in the woods hiding from the IRS. 🧔‍♂️🌲

We sat in a cozy cafe, and he ordered cream soup. It was a thriller. Every time the spoon approached his face, I held my breath hahah. By the middle of dinner, you could find in his beard: soup remnants, breadcrumbs, and apparently, any hope for our future together. This is that taboo nobody talks about: why do we women spend millions on laser hair removal for every invisible hair, while men decide their face is a nature reserve for flora and fauna?

All evening, I fought the urge to pull a comb out of my purse or at least wipe him down with antiseptic. When he tried to kiss me goodbye, I politely dodged, citing a sudden allergy to... ecosystems. Sorry, dear, I’m looking for love, not adventures in the Amazon jungle. Feminism is one thing, but I have the right to a partner whose face is visible without a magnifying glass! 🙅‍♀️✂️