If partner search were a startup, it would go bankrupt within the first month due to catastrophically low conversion rates. We live in an age where you can order groceries, find a Swahili tutor, or buy one-way tickets to the other side of the world in 15 minutes. But when it comes to meeting a man you'll want to wake up with on Saturday without feeling existential dread, the system returns "Error 404."

I often hear from my friends: "I'm not asking for much. Just for him to be reasonable, self-fulfilling, and able to communicate with words." But it seems that in today's world, this description qualifies as a rare collector's item, one you have to hunt for with a magnifying glass.

Tinder's conveyor belt and the window display effect

The main problem of our time is the illusion of endless choice. When you're faced with thousands of profiles, you start to treat people like commodities. "So, this one's beard is the wrong shape," "This one likes hiking, and I like TV shows," "This one has a typo in their profile." We swipe left on potentially great people, hoping that an "improved version" awaits us around the next screen turn.

So, we all end up sitting in the waiting room for perfection while real life passes us by. Men, by the way, do the same. Why invest in relationships and resolve conflicts when you can just log back into an app and find a "new, unbroken" girl?

Infantilism as the New Black

Another challenge is the widespread unwillingness to take responsibility. We're faced with a generation of "Peter Pans." He's thirty-five, he's "searching for himself," he dreads the word "commitment" like the plague, and he believes that initiative should come exclusively from the woman.

You show up on a date and feel like an entertainer. You ask questions, you joke, you create an atmosphere, and all you get in response is a halfhearted "cool." Finding a man who can book a table, arrive on time, and be upfront about his intentions is like finding treasure these days.

Where's the solution?

I spent a long time analyzing why there are no "normal" men. And I realized one thing: they exist. They're just often not packaged in a glossy profile. They may not know how to take great selfies and don't know that it's fashionable to talk about "being in a resourceful state."

The difficulty with searching is that we look for external signs, forgetting about our inner selves. We're looking for "success," but we need someone who will make tea when we're sick.

My personal conclusions (after hundreds of cups of tasteless coffee on dates):

Delete apps when you feel nauseous. A month of silence is better than ten more empty conversations.

Downplay your importance. A date isn't a husband audition, it's simply a way to get to know someone new. If it doesn't work out—okay, at least I got to try a new dessert.

Don't be "convenient." If a man acts like a lazy cat at first, he'll remain that way. There's no need to "pull him up" or "inspire him."

Finding your soulmate is difficult because we've become more complex ourselves. We no longer settle for "anyone," and that's great news. We want quality, and that takes time. So while we're searching, let's at least stop apologizing for having standards higher than a baseboard.