Today started with the smell of freshly cut grass and my unwavering desire to become as flexible as a willow branch. I grabbed my mat, put on my tightest leggings, and headed to a free yoga session in a park. There were about thirty people: all so enlightened, smelling of lavender and breathing through their "source" (or whatever is trendy to breathe through now???)

The instructor, a man with a braid down to his waist, said, "Now, let’s enter the scorpion pose." I looked around. People started folding themselves into such pretzels that my knee cracked just from watching them. Well, I decided not to stay behind. After all, I attended a painting masterclass
I’m a person of art!

I kicked my legs up, tried to catch my balance, and... at that moment, a mosquito flew by. My concentration popped like a soap bubble. I didn't just fall
I performed a graceful backward roll, knocking over my neighbor's mat and landing my backside right into someone’s picnic basket.

"Om-m-m..." the instructor intoned, looking at me. "Oh-h-h..." I replied, picking remnants of someone's hummus out of my hair. The most annoying thing was that everyone else continued to hold their poses as if nothing had happened. Now that’s willpower! Meanwhile, I sat in someone's sandwiches realizing my kind of yoga is lying on the couch in the "sleeping panda" pose. I’m an expert at that.

In the end, I went home, bought a latte on the way, and decided that spinal flexibility is overrated. The main thing is flexibility of mind, which allows you to quickly come up with an excuse for why you'll never show up in this park with a mat again☕