Yesterday I realized: dentistry is the only legal way to feel like a helpless zucchini for your own money. I'm sitting in the chair, wearing a bib with ducks (seriously?), and a doctor who looks like a denim ad model is leaning over me....
And then he says, "Open wider" 👄

I open up. At that moment, all my charm evaporates. I have a retractor in my mouth, cotton rolls, and a suction tube making sounds like a dying dolphin.
I try to smile with my eyes, like "I'm still a lady," but a drop of drool runs from the corner of my mouth onto my designer scarf.
Sexy? Incredibly.

The real trash starts when the doctor asks "So, how’s work going?"
Dude, seriously?!!!!!
Half of your toolkit is in my mouth!!!!!
I try to say something intelligible, but it just comes out as "uuuhaammm." He nods "I get it, everyone’s stressed these days"

I left the clinic with a numb jaw.
Tried to drink coffee—half of it spilled because the left side of my face decided it no longer belonged to me. At least my teeth shine now))))

Moral: if you want to take someone down a peg, just send them to get a cavity filled. We are all equal there!!!