Three days ago
Huge studio
A line of nymphs with legs for miles
And me
In sneakers with a top knot
Assistant comes out with a tablet:
"Number 42, step in!"
I enter
Camera, lights, director with a scarf
"Imagine," he says, "that you're eating yogurt, and it's the best thing in your life since paying off your mortgage"
They give me a spoon
An empty one
I start faking ecstasy
"Hmm..." the director winces. "More passion! You aren't just eating; you're reuniting with lactobacilli!"
I scoop imaginary yogurt, roll my eyes
And then my jaw cramps
"A-a-m..." I make a weird sound
"Stop!" the director yells. "Genius! That face... it’s so... strange. We need a face with a twist, not just a model"
"It's not a twist" I whisper "it's a pinched nerve"
"Doesn't matter!" he waves his hand "We'll call you"
They called
Now I’m the face of "Sour Joy"
Actually, I’m advertising heartburn medicine
Well, at least they paid for the "twist"