I recently bought smart scales on sale. Stepping on the scales. They beeped.
A notification pops up on my smartphone:
"Foreign object detected. Are you sure this is you?"
"Yes, it’s me!" I yell at the screen
Scales say: body fat — 40%, muscle mass - not found, audacity level - extreme
"Listen" I say "I just had pizza yesterday!"
Phone replies: I recommend a walk to the nearest salad

I tried to trick the system: stood on one leg.
Scales: congratulations, now you weigh as much as half a hippo!

😠😠 Threw them onto the balcony
Let them weigh pigeons there.
My self-esteem shouldn't depend on a piece of plastic with Wi-Fi. Right?