Last week Aunt Lyuda asked at the family dinner: "So when already?" Not specifying what- everyone understands. I'm 24, unmarried, no children, and this, in the opinion of some relatives, requires a public explanation.
I love Aunt Lyuda. She's kind, caring, bakes cherry pies better than anyone in the world. But this question doesn't come from concern. It comes from a system of expectations in which a 24-year-old woman without children is a disorder requiring correction.
I wanted to answer: "When I decide it's time, Aunt Lyuda". But I smiled and redirected the conversation to her new garden.
Here's the thing: I'm not against children in principle, not against family. But I'm against the idea that my life decisions require defending before a family council. Not one man at the table was asked "why aren't you married?" that's simply a fact.
After dinner I walked home thinking: what if everything is exactly as it should be? My apartment, my work, my watercolors and the neighbor's cat this isn't "before I have a family." This is already a full living life.
Aunt Lyuda sent me home with a pie. Cherry. It was wonderful 😄