And that's what shocked me.
Mature men... don't want seriousness.
No, they speak beautifully. They write the right words: "I appreciate sincerity", "I want warmth", "I seek intimacy". But it's worth taking a step deeper - and a strange game begins. Disappearance. Return. Cold - warmth. Interest - and suddenly distance without explanation.
At first it annoys. Then - surprises. And then you catch yourself thinking that... it's dragging.
Yes, I'll be honest: there is something dangerously attractive in these emotional swings.
You feel alive again. When he writes - your heart beats faster. When he disappears - you catch yourself checking your phone. When he returns - this little illusion appears that "now everything will be different".
Although with your mind you understand perfectly well: it won't be.
And here the most interesting thing begins.
I came for stability — and got caught up in the game. I wanted peace — and got emotional waves. And the most honest thing I can say is: part of me is no longer against these seesaws.
Because they give what is so lacking in “proper” dating — drive, tension, anticipation.
But there is another part of me. The one that still wants something simple: for a person to be there not only when it is convenient for them. So that they don’t have to guess what another silence means. So that they don’t play — but rather be.
And I am now somewhere between these two states.
Between a woman who knows her worth and wants stability…
and a woman who suddenly became interested in playing these dangerous emotional games.
Perhaps the truth is that even in adulthood we are not as “rational” as we think.
And perhaps it is not only about men, but also about women?