It may sound strange, but it is after losses that you begin to especially appreciate what is real. I already know what a relationship looks like in which there is no support. And that's why I understand even more how important it is to find someone with whom you don't compete, don't prove, don't survive - but simply live side by side.
I don't idealize marriage. I know that it's the work of two people. It's a choice every day. It's the ability to hear, support, sometimes be silent next to each other, and sometimes - to tell the truth, which is not always convenient.
But that's exactly why I believe in it. Because real things are not easy.
About loyalty, which for me means more than just the absence of betrayal
For me, loyalty is not only about the physical boundary. It's about being present with your heart. About not disappearing emotionally when things get difficult. About honesty, even when it's easier to keep quiet. About choosing to stay, not run away at the first discomfort.
I know that such relationships are possible. Maybe not ideal, but real.
It would be easier to tell yourself: "this is not for me anymore." But I look at my child and understand - love exists not only in the past. It is still ahead. And it can be different. Calmer. More adult. Conscious.
I am not looking for a fairy tale. I am looking for a person. The one with whom you can build, not play roles. With whom you are not afraid to be yourself - even in the most vulnerable moments.
And to be honest...
After everything I have experienced, I have not become less dreamy. I have become more selective. More attentive to details. But inside I am still the same woman who believes in the warmth of hands, in looks that do not deceive, and in relationships where two people are not perfect - but real to each other.
I still believe in love.
And, perhaps, that is why it still has a chance to find me again.