And so I think, why do I need this? Now I live quite comfortably with my breasts. Yes, they're not small, sometimes they interfere with sports, and it's hard to find underwear that doesn't dig in. But I'm used to it. It's my body, and I'm not embarrassed by it. I think it's only worthwhile to undergo such a procedure when the problem is truly interfering with your life. When your back hurts, when it's hard to breathe, when the doctor says it's necessary for your health. And not just because "it would be prettier."
In my case, there are no serious reasons. There's just an inner voice that sometimes whispers, "What if it really does make you feel better?" But I don't know. Maybe it won't be the surgery that will make you feel better, but rather that I'll stop worrying about my reflection in the mirror.
You know, I'm actually thinking now that many issues with body acceptance aren't solved with a scalpel, but rather from within. I can lose weight, tone my muscles, improve my posture. And maybe my breasts won't seem so huge anymore. And if not, well, okay. That means this is who I am.
I guess I want to tell myself, yes, you can do it. But you don't have to. And it's okay not to want to change anything about yourself, even if you have the opportunity. My body doesn't have to live up to anyone's expectations. It doesn't owe anyone anything.
These are my thoughts. I just sit and think. And I realize there's no answer yet. And that's okay too. Maybe I'll return to this question someday, maybe not. Time will tell.