It told me I was avoidant and I stared at the screen for a minute before I looked it up and realised my love life finally made sense.

Here is what I learned and what it means for you.

- Anxious attachment: You are the one who checks your phone every three minutes. You re-read texts and try to decode what they really mean. You give a lot and you hope that if you give enough, they will stay. You are not needy. You are just scared of being left.

- Avoidant attachment: You are the one who needs space. A lot of it. You go quiet when things get too close. You suddenly remember you have to reorganise your sock drawer when a conversation gets too real. You feel relief when a relationship ends because the pressure is finally gone. You want love, you just do not want to need it.

- Secure attachment: You are the lucky one. You are comfortable with closeness and okay with distance. You communicate your needs without fear and you do not abandon yourself to keep someone else. You are the person anxious and avoidant people are trying to become.

The good news is that your attachment style is not permanent. You can heal it. But first, you have to stop using your coping mechanisms as an excuse.

If you are anxious, stop interpreting silence as rejection. Learn to sit with discomfort. Let people come to you instead of chasing them.

If you are avoidant, stop mistaking space for safety. Notice when you are pulling away and ask yourself why. Let someone stay close without running.

If you are secure, keep doing what you are doing. Be patient with the rest of us.

Healing your attachment style is not about becoming a different person. It is about learning to let love in without losing yourself in the process. And that is worth working on. What is your attachment style?💋

Natalia😏