There is a reason we feel drawn to people who are not good for us and it is not because we are 'broken' or 'stupid'. It is because our brains are wired to find comfort in what is familiar, not what is healthy. Unfortunately. If you grew up with love that felt inconsistent, unpredictable, or hard to earn, then that pattern becomes your baseline. Your brain reads chaos as passion and inconsistency as excitement. Stability feels boring because it is not what you learned to expect.

The problem is that chemistry is not a sign that someone is right for you. It is just a sign that your nervous system recognizes something from your past. That is why you can feel fireworks for someone who makes you anxious and feel nothing for someone who actually treats you well🤦🏻‍♀️.

So what do you do about it? You start by paying attention to how you feel when you are with someone. Do you feel calm or do you feel like you are waiting for the other shoe to drop? Do you feel seen or do you feel like you are performing? Do you feel safe or do you feel like you have to earn their love?

You also stop confusing anxiety with attraction. If your heart is racing, ask yourself if it is because you are excited or because you are nervous. There is a difference and your body knows it. You just have to learn to listen.

The good news here is that you can rewire your patterns😅. BUT it takes time and it takes practice. You can learn to be drawn to people who are actually good for you. And that is a much better kind of chemistry.

Elena🧐