I'm tired of being strong. Of always keeping my back straight, of smiling when I want to cry, of solving other people's problems when my own are too much to handle. I'm tired of being "the good girl." I want to be weak, but there's no one to feel it for. That's the irony of strength.
Do you understand me? That feeling when you lie in bed and can't sleep because your head is buzzing with thoughts like, "What about tomorrow? What about me? What if I stop now, will everything fall apart?" And you can't afford to stop, because no one is driving this train except you.
I want to run away. Just run away to the forest or the field, where no one demands anything. Where you can scream at the top of your lungs or remain silent as much as you want. But I won't run away. I'll get up tomorrow, put on my "everything's fine" mask again, and keep going. Simply because I have to.
But today, right now, I'll be honest, I'm exhausted. I'm tired of this whole adult world, where you always have to be resourceful, successful, and happy. I just want to be understood without words. For someone to be there for me. Just silently. You understand, right?