The main mistake of many couples is trying to look for attraction in the same place where they build everyday comfort. It seems to us that passion should arise automatically simply from the fact of a person’s presence nearby. But the reality is that attraction requires distance. It is difficult to feel passion for someone in whom you have disappeared and whom you perceive as an extension of yourself. To bring back the spark, you need to learn to look at an ordinary person as a separate, autonomous person with his own inner world.

One of the most effective ways to revive feelings is to see your partner on “his territory.” Observe how a person is passionate about his work, how he interacts with friends, shows expertise, or engages in a favorite hobby. At these moments, a person’s focus on something external returns that same distance. Once again, you see before you not just a roommate, with whom solving everyday problems has long become a routine, but a manifest, enthusiastic and interesting personality who you can sincerely admire.

In addition, passion requires breaking out of familiar scenarios. When your entire life together is scheduled minute by minute, there is no room left for play and spontaneity. Changing the usual environment, new joint experiences and legalization of the personal space of each partner help to destroy the household autopilot. Allow yourself and your partner to have your own secrets, personal hobbies and time spent away from each other. Returning from your own world, you again become a source of novelty for each other.