The main difference between unifying silence and alienated silence is the subtext. When there is an unprocessed conflict between partners, silence becomes difficult, protracted and rejecting. This is the so-called “cold silence”, which is used as punishment or protection. On the contrary, “warm silence” occurs when people do not need to prove anything to each other or deserve attention. This is a state when the presence of another person is enough to feel safe.

Shared silence gives partners what is sorely lacking in today’s information-oversaturated world - the opportunity to be themselves without having to maintain a social façade. When you don't have to constantly generate topics for conversation, choose the right words, or entertain each other, colossal psychological stress subsides. You are simply in the same space, everyone can be immersed in their thoughts, reading or business, but at the same time an invisible thread of contact remains between you.

The ability to share a pause without wanting to immediately fill it with fussy conversations requires a deep, basic trust. She says that you are not afraid to show your vulnerability, fatigue or thoughtfulness. There is no rejection in this silence - there is acceptance in it. You trust your partner so much that you are not afraid to seem boring or uninteresting.

Learning to enjoy shared silence means reaching a new level of intimacy, where words are no longer the only bridge between two people. Warm silence becomes a quiet haven in which you can restore resources, feel the presence of a loved one and just be close, without wasting energy on unnecessary noise.