One of the rules I never break in a relationship is this: I do not keep score. Not in a notebook. Not in my head. Not anywhere🤔.

It sounds simple but it is not. Because when you love someone, you notice things. You notice when you say sorry first. You notice when you plan everything and he just shows up. You notice when you give more than you get. And before you know it, you are keeping a mental tally of every imbalance. That is not love. That is accounting. 🧾

Here is what I have learned. Love without keeping score does not mean you let someone take advantage of you. It does not mean you give and give and never receive anything back. That is not love either. That is self-destruction. But there is a difference between giving because you want to and giving because you are waiting for something in return. One feels like freedom. The other feels like debt.

Psychologists have studied this. In healthy relationships, partners operate from a place of responsiveness. They give because they care about the other person's needs, not because they are tracking what they are owed. When couples stop keeping score and start focusing on mutual care, satisfaction goes up. When they keep a mental ledger, resentment grows . 💡

I have been in relationships where I kept score and it was honestly miserable. I have also been in relationships where I did not keep score and I felt free. The difference was not the man. The difference was me.

So I put the scorecard down. I give without a receipt. I trust that the other person is doing the same for me in their own way. Not the way I expect. Their way.

Have you ever kept score in a relationship? And did it help or hurt you?

Olga❣️